Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
