Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
