Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
