Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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