Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
