I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
