I bet he comes in French.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
