i just made my gag reflex go away.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My vagina is officially offended.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
