I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
