i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
