Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
