he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
