I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Never joke about your clitoris.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
