bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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