Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
