For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
