you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
