Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
