If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
