Pappa wants mamma naked
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize