do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
they're like a gay fantastic four
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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