Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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