lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
