Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
