Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
