I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
