Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
