she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
