she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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