he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
