What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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