She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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