Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
