Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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