we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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