That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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