what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
