hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
