dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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