did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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