The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
