She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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