ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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