is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
