The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
