I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Couch. On fire.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
