Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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