You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Watching her eat just hurts me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
