I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You've changed since you got that strap on
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
