We're like a lot better than the average bears
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
